bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
