Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're a waste of cheezeits
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
