I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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