It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
