no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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