Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize