I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
