Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think your dad took our porno
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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