alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
