I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
