She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
