Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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