that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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