I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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