is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Randomize
