At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
