we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
