would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
