So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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