I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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