Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
