only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
