hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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