In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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