oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
