I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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