Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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