I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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