i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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