Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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