Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
