it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
