Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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