Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Umm I'm too high to move.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize