It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
