Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When did angry sex become our thing?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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