Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
