So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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