Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize