So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she looked like the before picture.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
