"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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