Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
