You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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