it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Your penis caused this!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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