Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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