So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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