So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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