I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
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After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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