You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She's the barista slut.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
