I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize