well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
How's work?
Spinning.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
