Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
