It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
