Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize