I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I love you.
Bad choice
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
