We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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