Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
no, he came in my armpit
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
