First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
its liver damage thursday
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
