Your mouth is God's brothel.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He shit in the fireplace
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize